


A Hike To The Heavens

by haikyuutsukkitrash



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Depression, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Minho talks about his life, Minho's Elimination, My First Work in This Fandom, Sad Minho, Stay, Suicide, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Why Did I Write This?, everyone is sad, happy ending not guaranteed, i am too, vlive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-20 18:00:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16142549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haikyuutsukkitrash/pseuds/haikyuutsukkitrash
Summary: Minho holds his first solo VLive. If only they knew it would also be his last.Where life has become too much for Minho to handle, and the boys do everything they can to save him. Minho wants to be free, but not without giving everyone an explanation first.Will they be able to get to him on time?! Trigger Warning ! Depression, self harm and suicide are the main themes of this fan fiction. Please do NOT read if you are sensitive to these topics. Be safe!Minsung can be seen as a ship or as a friendship, use your imagination however you like <3





	A Hike To The Heavens

**Author's Note:**

> Again, trigger warning. Be safe reading this.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!

Minho looked up at the long road ahead of him, took a deep breath and put on the brightest smile he could muster before turning on the camera. He knew he wasn’t supposed to do this. He knew it was very much against the rules for them to randomly start an unplanned VLive, especially a solo VLive. They were special, and very rare. The timing of each planned out carefully by JYPE’s promotion team to ensure maximum viewers and maximum exposure.

Except this wasn’t just a random VLive, and he didn’t care about the amount of people who’d watch it. Actually, it would probably be better if less people watch it, because, in the best-case scenario, the other members of Stray Kids wouldn’t realise this is happening until after it was done. But Minho wasn’t that lucky… he never was.

Stay’s dedication to Stray Kids was remarkable, they kept up with everything, and his view count rose quickly.

“Hello STAY!” Minho waved at the camera, showing off his precious smile that everyone had come to love.

_If only he loved it that much too._

“It’s just me today! I’m sorry if you were hoping for the other members… I hope you’ll still stay, though!” They stayed. Of course, they stayed. They stayed and flooded the comment section with messages in every language, all showing their love.

“So, this VLive wasn’t really planned…”

_If only that was true._

“…let’s hope JYP doesn’t find out! He’d definitely make me shut it down.” Minho shivered at the thought, but then softly smiled. “But don’t you guys worry! I’m far away from the studio, he can’t catch me here, hehe.”

He turned his camera around to show the beautiful view he could already see, even though he was still fairly low on the mountain. “See that road going up this gorgeous mountain? I’m gonna be climbing that today! I wanted to reach just one more high point in my life, and thought to myself, why not take you guys along for the ride! Let’s begin…”

* * *

 “Hey, guys?” Chan called out to the other members in their dance studio, after he saw a rather unexpected hashtag trending on twitter when he browsed his phone. #LeeKnowsFirstVLive? What was that all about? “Didn’t Minho stay home sick today? Jisung, bring the laptop over here for a second.”

They all gathered around their leader, watching on in confusion as he loaded up VLive and saw that someone was livestreaming on their channel.

“Maybe JYP asked him to show Stay that he’s sick, but will be okay soo- or not.” Woojin quickly corrected himself as they saw Minho outside, looking just fine.

_If only he was fine._

_“Let’s begin…”_ They watched him say as he started walking. _“I’ve actually been planning this VLive for a while now. I really wanted to talk about some more personal things with you guys, and what better place to do it than right here? Who knows, maybe some of you relate, feel the same way. I don’t know, but I just wanted to let you all know who I really am, before big things happen.”_

There is a reason they weren’t allowed to share information so dear and personal. The media would twist their words and use it against them, or antis, sometimes even fans, would spread it and never let it go again. It would hurt all of their careers, which are still in the early stages but already looking very promising. Jeongin was on his way to JYP’s office, just to ask what was going on with Minho. It is unlikely that JYP just _forgot_ to tell them.

He didn’t just forget. He wasn’t even aware of this livestream until Jeongin informed him, and was visibly annoyed. Not yet angry, no, but it got close as he gathered his team, discussing what to do about this strange situation. “JYP is gonna kill him…” Felix muttered, more to himself than anyone else.

_If only JYP had the chance._

It was strange how this sounded like Minho, but at the same time not at all. He tried his hardest to sound like his usual self, but Jisung immediately noticed the difference. He felt so distant. Like they were watching a movie about someone else, instead of their best friend talking to them through a screen. There was an unusual coldness to his voice. Very slight, likely not even noticed by their fans, but clearly there. And was it his eyes? There was something about his eyes that he couldn’t quite pinpoint through the low-quality video. “Something isn’t right.”

_“A lot of things have been happening lately, as I’m sure you’re all aware. Our come-back was wild! We’re all very thankful, my members and I.”_ The boys watching nodded in agreement. It really had been a good time for them. _“But it has also been very, very tough. Not just this come-back, but since the very beginning. I’m gonna share some of my story here, right now. I’ll stop this VLive once I arrive at the top, so enjoy me while you can!”_

So many thoughts were running through Minho’s head as he was speaking. Where to begin? Where to end it? What to tell and what not to tell? His thoughts were soon interrupted when he saw the first text from his members. He’d been seeing comments, asking if he was okay, but those were easy to ignore. His members not so much. Minho felt bad. He felt so, so, so bad. His face visibly fell.

“Heh, looks like the boys are looking for me.” Minho said to the camera. “Don’t worry, guys, if you’re watching this. I’ll be explaining everything in this VLive.” He stumbled as he tripped on some tree roots sticking up from the ground. A perfect representation of his life, perhaps? Even the simplest things have become a struggle.

“Ah well… let’s just start from the beginning, I guess? It kinda began before Stray Kids even formed really. Being a back-up dancer for BTS isn’t exactly easy. I loved it. Of course, I loved it. It was the opportunity of a life-time, a great start to my career and I learnt so much, but oh my god. The pressure. There is so much pressure to be perfect. To move perfectly. To dance perfectly. I loved it, but I couldn’t handle it. Most of you probably don’t know this, but the reason I quit was because it really took a toll on my mental health…” Minho sighed. All his memories coming back, it was a lot. It was all his fault too. “I guess I was just… too weak for a group so big. I was living the life so many dreamt of, but I just couldn’t allow myself to be truly happy…”

Minho kept walking, slowly getting out of breath as he climbed and talked at the same time. “Then I met new friends. I’m talking about you guys, my members.” He spoke to them directly. “You all mean the world to me.” He looked at a new notification, another text, from Jisung this time. Minho’s heart clenched.

**You’re not okay, are you?** it read, and it hurt. Jisung could tell, of course he could. He was closest to Minho after all. **We’re worried.** Maybe Jisung knew what the next thing he’d talk about would be, or maybe it was just great timing.

“ _Stray Kids_. Our survival show. I guess we’re all very aware of what happened here, haha… That was very much a low point in my life. Besides right now, maybe even the lowest point ever… When I got eliminated, it felt like my whole world crumbled to pieces. I don’t blame JYP for eliminating me, it was my own fault for not being good enough. I still remember that day so clearly. All the members cried for me, I still feel so bad. I wish I wasn’t the reason for their tears. Yeah… that was a very hard time for me… one of my members is very much aware of that, even more so than the others.”

“ _… one of my members…”_ back at the studio, seven of the boys looked around in confusion, unsure of what exactly he could be talking about, until they noticed Jisung, who was frozen in his spot. He wasn’t blinking. He wasn’t moving. He wouldn’t take his eyes of Minho.

“He doesn’t mean…” Jisung trailed off, thinking back to that one day, several months ago already.

 

_It was the day after their second mission had ended. It had been a very strange day, because practise continued as normal, and their daily routines remained the same, except for one thing. One member was missing. Minho was missing. His best friend was missing. All of the members felt it, that a part of them was gone. They had to rechoreograph the dance so his empty spot would be hidden, and redistribute the lines to cover Minho’s part in the song. Even right now Jisung felt it, as he walked back to the dorms where he shared a room with Minho… as he walked back alone._

_It was already very late at night. Jisung stayed behind after their group practise finished to work on new 3RACHA content with Chan and Changbin. He opened the door slowly, praying it wouldn’t creak and wake up Minho, who he expected to be asleep by now. When he looked over at Minho’s bed, however, it was empty. Noticing how cold it was in their room, Jisung saw that the balcony door was opened slightly._

_“Minho?” Jisung stepped outside to find him sitting in the corner, staring out at the city in front of them. “Minho, it’s nearly 2am, I thought you’d be asleep by now?”_

_“Just take a second to look at this beautiful city… there’s so many talented people out here.” Minho sighed deeply. “Maybe JYP was right.”_

_“Minho, no.” Jisung sat down next to him, and Minho curled up a little more._

_“I mean, he’s the expert, right?” Minho would cry if he could, but he’d already done so much of that today. He still felt that tightness in his chest, and the lump is his throat that just wouldn’t go away, but his eyes were empty and dry. “He wouldn’t kick me out for no reason. I’m not good enough, it’s that easy. I’ve always known it, I just hoped maybe JYP could see that we’re all friends, and work best with all 9 of us… I guess that’s not true.”_

_“Don’t say that. You know that’s not true. You know how hard you work, you deserv-”_

_“I don’t.”_

_“You do. None of us have given up on you yet.” It hurt Jisung to see Minho like this. He was closest to him out of anyone. He didn’t want to debut without him. “We’re gonna get you back.”_

_“Hmmm…” A million thoughts were running through Minho’s head at once, it was a mess. Unable to voice any at this moment, he stayed silent._

_Jisung stepped back inside, expecting Minho to follow him. When he didn’t hear footsteps behind him, he held out his hand. It has become a thing they did. When one needs help, they hold each other’s hand, even if for just a second, and it calms both of them down. The first time they did that was during the first mission, when Minho had to rap for the first time. It just kinda stuck with them._

_Minho, still lost in his thoughts and not fully focused on the present, instinctively reached out to Jisung, but quickly pulled back when he heard a gasp. Suddenly back in the real world, Minho was scared. He didn’t say anything, and neither did Jisung. Jisung just stared at Minho’s arms and he was in shock. Lines. Multiple lines. Some very faint or in the process of healing. Some fresh, not even hours old and still bleeding a little._

_“…why.” Jisung couldn’t stop his eyes from watering. He knew his friend had been struggling, that much was obvious, being a trainee is a hard life, but he never knew he was struggling this much._

_“Please don’t tell.”_

_“Minho I can’t, you nee-”_

_“Please!” Minho begged Jisung. The others couldn’t know. They couldn’t know how weak he was. Minho was well aware that this would affect all the other members if they found out. They’d feel guilty, even though they’re not. This was all his own fault. He was the weak one. He was the worst one. He was the one that always dragged the others down. If their performances worsened because they were worried about him, he would never forgive himself._

_“You can’t ask me to do this, Minho.” Jisung was at a crossroads. He knew that the logical thing to do was tell someone, talk to an adult, get Minho the help he very clearly needs. However, it was Minho’s eyes that held him back. His eyes were filled with desperation. He looked so scared, more scared than Jisung has ever seen him look before._

_“It will hurt everyone, please. If JYP finds out, I’ll never debut. Not with Stray Kids, not with another group, not ever. I’ll be fine, I promise. I’m okay. I won’t do it again.” Minho was close to panicking. His eyes frantically looking into Jisung’s, trying to find out exactly what he’s thinking. “Talk to me, Jisung. You can always talk to me. Just… just don’t tell anyone.”_

_“Show me.” Jisung carefully asked Minho as he pulled himself back together as much as he could in this moment. He sat back down next to him. Slowly Minho slid his left sleeve up, followed by his right. He knew it was bad, and Jisung’s reaction didn’t surprise him._

_“I’m so sorry. You weren’t meant to see.”_

_“No, I’m the one that’s sorry. I should’ve noticed. How haven’t I noticed? We dance together all the time, we even live together. I’m with you basically 24/7.”_

_“Please, don’t blame yourself. After months I got good at hiding it, it’s not your fault.”_

_“When did you last-”_

_“A few hours ago… please don’t go into the bathroom, I didn’t expect you home yet.” He knew he should’ve cleaned up right after, he usually always does, but he just couldn’t get himself to do it. He didn’t want to go back to that bathroom while his blood was still covering the basin. He didn’t want to see the proof that he was a failure, now more than ever. But still, he’d much rather that than have Jisung see it instead. “Knowing you all were practising together… working on fulfilling our dream without me… it hurt too much, I’m sorry.”_

_“We’ll get you back. We will.” Jisung promised him. “Can you tell me about them?” Jisung asked sincerely, and Minho did. They talked all night. Minho told him everything, about when it first started, to just last night and even today. Jisung was glad he trusted him, and Minho was glad he had someone to talk to. They needed each other, now more than ever._

_If only it worked as well as Jisung thought it did._

“We have to find him.” Jisung suddenly said. “Ohmygod, we have to find him. Right now. We need to look for him.” The other members could see the panic in his eyes, and worry took over. They still didn’t know what Minho was referring to when he said one member knew better than the rest, and they didn’t know why Jisung was starting to panic.

_“Jisung, if you’ve figured it out by now, I’m sorry I couldn’t keep my promise like you did.”_ Jisung was already on the move, ready to find JYP and tell him to hurry and use whatever he can to pinpoint Minho’s location, but suddenly stopped when he heard Minho speak directly to him. _“That day, you said you’d get me back on the team, and you did. That day of the showcase, when JYP said Felix and I were allowed to debut too, that was the happiest day of my life. I’m forever grateful to everyone, especially you.”_

The comment section was just as much of a mess as the JYP studio was at this point. Both confusion and fear being the most common emotions. “I should’ve told you guys.” Jisung kept saying over and over again. “I should’ve said something earlier.”

“Calm down, Jisung, please.” But he couldn’t. This was his fault. He could’ve prevented this if only he had helped Minho better. If only he’d told someone.

“Tell us what he means.”

“I’m sure we can fix this.”

“NO!” Jisung snapped out of his panic and turned around to face his friends. “You don’t understand but this is not an easy fix. Minho isn’t _fine_. Nothing about Minho is fine, and it hasn’t been in a long, long time.” The member’s faces fell and they had a bad feeling. Jisung took a deep breath before he dropped the bomb. “His long sleeves? Yeah, he doesn’t just ‘like them’ like he says, there’s a reason for them. Minho is depressed. Like, very depressed, to the point where he hurts himself.”

“No…” Jeongin was the first one to speak up. “That can’t be true, surely. We’re talking about Minho here. Have you met Minho? Last time I checked he was laughing, smiling, dancing in the practise room, joking around at dinner, running around town. Minho is a happy guy.”

“Yeah, well, last time I checked I talked to him all night about his scars. Last time I checked I found him sitting on the bathroom floor, crying. Last time I checked, there were multiple bloody razors hidden in our bathroom drawers.” Jisung was scared, panicked and full of guilt, and frustrated that his members didn’t believe him. What he didn’t expect, although he probably should have, was one of them getting angry at him as well.

“YOU KNEW?! All this time, you knew about it and did NOTHING?”

“Felix, no… that’s not fair.” Being the leader, Chan tried to keep the situation under control, because without an adult in the room he could see this quickly getting out of hand.

“NOT FAIR? You know what’s not fair? Minho having to go through all this alone, when we could’ve been there for him. We could’ve helped him, if only Jisung has told us. If not us, then at least someone else at the company. All this could’ve been prevented. If Jisung had told literally anyone, maybe Minho wouldn’t be walking to his death right now, because that’s what’s happening, isn’t it?” Felix was angry. Deep down they all had a feeling that that was indeed what Minho was planning, but hearing someone say it out loud like that brought tears to everyone’s eyes.

“I’M SORRY, OK? Don’t you think I feel bad enough already? I’m fully aware that I should’ve done something, but I couldn’t. I PROMISED Minho that I wouldn’t. You don’t understand. He begged me, literally begged me, not to tell. Would you betray him like that? I don’t think so. You have NO IDEA how hard this has been for me, ok?”

“Guys, please, this isn’t the time to fight.” Chan interrupted. He understood where Felix was coming from, of course he did, but he could see Jisung’s point of view too.

Suddenly JYP entered the room. “What’s going on here? I thought I heard yelling- are you guys crying?” Still unaware of Minho’s situation, this wasn’t a sight he expected. “I’m not happy either, but it’ll be fine.”

While Chan and Woojin informed JYP about what Jisung had told them, Jisung and the others sat back down to continue watching Minho, who was getting closer and closer to the end of his hike.

* * *

Minho sat down on a few rocks along the path. “I forgot just how exhausting talking and walking at the same time was” he laughed. “I actually come here quite often, it’s always so nice and quiet. Now that I think about it, that’s actually so weird? It’s only like a 45-minute drive away from Seoul, and look at these views!” Minho turned the camera around to show Stay how beautiful it was. The sun was out with barely any clouds in the sky. Minho was already quite high up the mountain, and cities and trees below him seemed to never end, you could see so far.

“I guess my stamina really should be a lot better than it is, being a K-pop star and all… ah well, this little break gives me more time to spend with you guys! I’m guessing another… 15 minutes, maybe 20, till I’m up there? It’s taking me longer than usual today. I guess I just don’t want to end this livestream today… I’m kinda scared of what will happen when I do… that’s probably why I’m so slow. I’m sure you guys don’t mind, though!”

Most Stays just assumed he meant the consequences of doing his own VLive, which makes sense.

_If only they were correct_

“I don’t think I’ve ever gotten so many texts from my members in half an hour before either.” Minho laughed. “I should text them back?” Minho stopped to read some of the comments, “Ah, I don’t think I can right now… or should… but I’m glad they’ve been watching. I’ve got a special message for them at the end, and for you, Stay, too of course. Let’s not delay this any more and keep going again, yeah? We’re up to our debut now!”

Stray Kids understood now why Minho wouldn’t reply to their messages, but that didn’t stop them from texting him multiple times a minute. The staff was getting closer and closer to tracking down his exact location, now it’s all just a matter of time. Will they get to Minho before he goes through with what they assume he’s doing? Are they even correct? At this point they’re quite sure.

Too sure.

“He’s been lying to me…” Jisung whispered, more to himself, but, with Minho’s voice coming from the laptop being the only sound in the room, everyone could hear. “I thought he trusted me. All this time, he was just pretending.” Jisung rested his head in his hands and sighed deeply, closing his eyes to hold back to tears. He wasn’t expecting an answer, but was glad it came.

“He did trust you, Jisung. More than anyone else in the world.”

“ _…much pressure, it got hard to handle. I thought being a backup dancer for BTS was asking a lot of me, but that was nothing compared to debuting with my own group. The spotlight is on me at all times, and I’m not even a lead member. I can’t imagine how they must feel. Failure isn’t an option. Mistakes cannot be made. I cannot mess up because everyone will see and everyone will judge and it will hurt our group. The members got me through a lot of this, most without even knowing that they…”_

“Then why is he doing this? Why isn’t he replying to me? He’s never ignored me like this before…” Jisung threw his phone aside, no longer seeing a point to the device. The only time he really, really needs it, it’s useless. “I just want to talk to him. What if I this could be the last time? What if I never get to talk to him again?” He cried out.

“He knows you’re watching. He knows how much you care, how much we all care. He’s having a hard time, but we’re gonna save him, trust me.” Hyunjin lifted Jisung’s chin and looked in his eyes. “We will save him. You will see him again. Happy.”

_“….was happy.”_ It was almost as if Minho was right there with them, the timing was so perfect. _“I will be happy again soon, just like I was when we debuted, or perform on stage, or during our first comeback. I relate to our I am WHO album more than you can imagine. I don’t know who I am right now, or who I want to be… or if I want to be. A good sleep is like a distant memory. Voices won’t leave me. Not all bad voices. The voices of my members I love, and hearing Stay makes me happier than anything else. I often replay those sounds over and over again in my head. But there’s this one other voice that’s so, so loud, it overpowers all of yours and I can’t make it stop. It comes with me everywhere I go. It is my own… I need to make it stop…”_

The boys got more scared with every word Minho spoke. They were getting more serious, dark and deep, sounding like he got closer and closer to the end, which he did. They were losing hope, until JYP walked in again.

“Boys, I have some good news. We’ve located Minho. He is indeed a 45-minute drive away, like he said. We have three cars leaving in two minutes to find him, and police will be notified straight away.”

The fight isn’t over yet, but it is looking better than before. They know where he is. If they hurry, they can stop him.

“I’m coming.” Jisung stated firmly, standing up and getting ready to leave.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” JYP argued. “We don’t know what we’ll find. He’s still livestreaming now, but it seems it will end before we arrive. The outcome of this is… uncertain.”

“I have faith.” Jisung was not leaving this up for discussion. “I need to be there. I need to know I did everything I could to help him.” Wiping away the tears from his cheeks. “He’ll want me there. Let’s not waste any time.”

The boys all wished them luck as they stayed behind, watching the VLive and hoping, praying, for everything to end up ok. Just like Minho needed them, they needed Minho.

_If only they’d left a few minutes earlier._

“We’re here guys.” Minho said, a slight quiver in his voice. “There’s no one else here, I’m glad.” He walked over to the bench placed a few meters away from the cliff’s edge and sat down. “I can see everything from here. The sky, the cities, the roads, the path I just walked on. There are no trees to block the views and no one to hold me back. I feel truly free.” He sighed deeply. “I hope all of you can feel like this too.”

Minho didn’t know that Jisung was on his way to him, as well as many other people. No one had texted him about it in fear that it’d trigger him to make more irrational decisions. Jisung was in the car, still following the VLive and crying, willing the car to go faster and faster, even if it’d put himself in danger.

“Before I end this VLive, I just want to say a few things. I’m sure this VLive made some of you worry, but please don’t. As I said before, I will be happy again very soon. I don’t want to be the cause of your worry and sadness anymore. I won’t let you down anymore, I promise.” He tried his hardest to fight his tears.

_Just a little longer, Minho. You’ve been holding back for so long, you can hold it in a few more minutes._

“I want to end this VLive on a happy note. It’s my first solo live, can’t have it be all serious now, can we? I just want to say I’m so, so grateful for everyone in my life. I wouldn’t be where I am without you. I’m very thankful for my parents and my family. Their support got me in JYP Entertainment, and ultimately in Stray Kids.”

“Secondly, STAY. Gosh, I can’t even say our fandom name without smiling like an idiot. I’m incredibly proud of every single one of you. If I could say hello, thank you and I love you to each of you in person, then I would. One day I’ll meet all of you. You make me happier than anyone else, I hope I made your lives at least a little bit better too.”

He smiled at the camera, but quickly turned it around when he felt his eyes water. While the viewers could enjoy the beautiful scenery, he wiped his eyes and breathed deeply.

_So close now, Minho. You’re almost free._

“Next is, of course, my members.” Back at the studio they were all huddled close together, holding each other’s hands as they watched. All they could do was sit there and wait. Wait for Minho to turn off the VLive. Wait for the phone to ring with either good news or bad news. Wait, and hope for the best.

“I love you guys so much. I don’t even have enough words to describe just how much I love you guys. We’ve had so much fun together since the very beginning, most of my happy memories involve all 8 of you. Stray Kids is all I ever wanted in my life and you guys make it so worth it. I’m happy you guys are my friends. You will always be my friends.”

“I know you’re all at the studio, right now. I’m sorry I missed practise for this! You’ll most likely get back home to the dorms before I do today, so I’ve left you all something special. Each of you will find something from me in your bedrooms. Please let me know what you think about it. I hope you all like it.” Minho flashed them his brightest, happiest smile. It was genuine. The members looked at each other, so badly wanting to just go home already and see what it is, but knowing very well they had to wait.

“Jisung. I’m so sorry I didn’t finish yours, but you will see why. You still remember the password to my laptop, right?” Minho laughed at the memory of when Jisung dared him to set his password to anything he wanted. That was a good day. “I think you’ll like what I made for you. I can’t wait to hear your thoughts!” He blew a kiss to the camera, followed by another smile.

Jisung knew he was about to end the livestream, and they still hadn’t arrived yet. Tears were flowing down his cheeks non-stop, just like the members back at the studio. He had never been more scared in his life. Emotions he didn’t know he could feel surfaced, and he wish he’d never had to feel them.

They were getting close. So, so close. A few minutes till they had to park the car and continue on foot. He could make it if he ran, he was sure of it. It was the only option.

“Looks like that’s it from me today, guys!” Minho stood up as he talked. “I just want to give you guys more and more and more, but I’m afraid I have nothing left to give for now. Thank you all for listening to my story! I love you, bye!” Placing the phone on the bench, he stepped a few meters away so his full body was on screen, getting ready to say Stray Kids’ greeting one last time.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes briefly, knowing he’ll ever say these words again after this. He wished his members could be here with him, but this is better for everyone. “Hana, dul, Step Out! Annyeonghaseyo! Stray Kids imnida!” He bowed and grabbed his phone, waving everyone goodbye.

Then he turned the VLive off.

The members stared at the black screen in silence. Was that the last time they saw their best friend alive? No one spoke… everyone cried. Neither the members nor the staff back at the studio knew what was happening at the moment.

Waiting sucks. But being Minho’s only hope sucks even more. Jisung froze in his seat as he saw Minho’s face fade away, and yelled at the driver to hurry. Time is running out quickly. He could feel Minho leaving him and they still had to make it up the mountain, all the way to the look out point where his friend was.

Minho didn’t look at any of the texts they sent him and didn’t listen to any of the voicemails he got. He couldn’t. He already felt bad enough. He turned off his phone and placed it on the ground, next to the bench where he last talked to his best friends, fans, and family. He took off the bracelet that he shared with all the Stray Kids members and held it close to his heart.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered. “I’m so, so sorry for not being a better friend.” He finally let the tears roll from his eyes. It’s happening. He is ready. He placed the bracelet next to his phone, together with his bucket hat and sunglasses, hoping someone would find it. He surrounded it by some flowers he found near the cliff’s edge. They were his favourite, yellow and white, with bright green stems.

“I guess this is it.” Minho said to himself. Jisung was running up the mountain where Minho was just minutes ago, going faster than ever before, but Minho had no idea. He smiled as he stepped away, taking one last look at the bracelet before turning around, walking towards the fence.

“MINHO!” Jisung yelled out over and over again, but he was too far away for Minho to hear. He grabbed hold of the metal as he looked down. The cliff was high. Very high. It was a beautiful sight, really. There was nothing separating him and the deep, hard ground hundreds of meters below him except for this small, metal fence. Carefully, he swung one leg over it, quickly followed by the other. For a brief moment he just sat there, appreciating the absence of people and the sound of birds, before lowering his legs and standing on the very edge.

Jisung was close. He was so close, he could already see the open area, but he wasn’t close enough.

Minho let himself lean forward, holding onto the railing behind him as he felt silent tears roll down his face. He was ready to go. To finally be free of himself.

Jisung screamed, yelling out Minho’s name as loud as he could, but the wind wasn’t in his favour. It’s like the universe knew Minho needed to go, blowing Jisung’s words back to him, never letting them reach Minho.

“Stray Kids. Stay.” Minho leaned forward just a little more, now only holding on by his fingertips as he felt the wind blow through his hair and the sun shine on his face.

There he was. Jisung could see him. He was right there, on the other side of the large open area. Why wouldn’t Minho hear him. Why wouldn’t he look back. Just one look over his shoulder and he’d see Jisung.

“Thank you, my friends, I won’t forget you. Let’s meet again in the same place.” Minho sung, the words of their song that meant so much to him carried to Jisung by the wind.

Then he let go.

Jisung let out a bloodcurdling scream and fell to the ground, as he saw his friend spread his arms and fly, disappearing from his sight forever.

**Author's Note:**

> Well... oof. Hopefully it didn't make you too sad? I'm just kidding I hope this broke your heart a little because that means I probably did an alright job hehe :')  
> Writing this definitely made me feel things I didn't know I could oh boi this got sad. It also got much longer than I originally planned whoops.
> 
> Did anyone recognise the lyrics Minho sung at the end? It's from 4419, the bridge part and are actually the two lines Jisung and Minho sing back to back. I HIGHKEY RECOMMEND listening to that song with subtitles after reading this, the lyrics are probably one of my favourites Stray Kids has ever written and are perfect for this fan fic.
> 
> ! ALSO ! I have a sequel / second chapter in mind for this, would you guys like it if I wrote more of this story, perhaps from the perspective of the other members and how they deal with what happened?
> 
> I also just want to say that Minho is my ultimate bias, I literally love him more than anyone like I don't even have enough words to describe how much love I have for him and I would HATE it if this happened to him, or any of Stray Kids, in real life. Remember this is fictional, and I wish this will never come true. MINHO, I LOVE YOU!
> 
> <3 Let me know in the comments what you think of this fan fiction and don't forget to leave Kudos! <3  
> <3 I'll definitely be writing more Stray Kids in the future! <3


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